Let Me Be ME

Mixed Messages

Last week I saw two videos that got me thinking about the way women treat each other.

One was a woman applauding and carrying on about how great it was that Pamela Anderson showed up at a ball gown event wearing no makeup. She was making it sound like it was a triumph for all women.

I don't agree. All it did for me was make me more insecure about the idea of ever having to show up to some event where I was spot-lighted, wearing no makeup. Maybe Pamela Anderson could pull it off, but I never could. And, the jury is still out on whether she actually did pull it off.

Is the real reason this woman was applauding Pamela related more toward how she feels about herself? How seeing beautiful women makes her feel less beautiful, so she was happy Pamela finally showed her true self?

The next was Valerie Bertinelli explaining that she wasn't using a filter in the video, but yes, she had used them before and would everyone just calm down? She pointed out that she did have gray roots, she does have wrinkles and dark circles, and she will use filters in her videos, when she wants to. I say, "Good for you, Valerie!"

Why do women cut other women down, when they do something to improve their appearance? It blows my mind to read comments or hear someone have to justify to others why they wear makeup, got injections, or God-forbid used a filter in their videos.

Can you just do you and let me be me?

Aren't women supposed to stick together? Fight for each other, not against? Seems as though there are a lot of women out there who never left the eighth grade.

I'm 62-years old

Makeup makes me feel better about the face that is changing more and more every time I look in the mirror.

In my teens, I didn't wear makeup - I had bad skin, but I had clear eyes, no wrinkles, and naturally red lips. It was Chapstick, and I was ready to face the world, acne and all.

In my twenties, I covered up my bad skin and learned how to use makeup. There were some scary blue eye shadow days and white Kabuki faces, but I got through it.

In my thirties, my skin cleared up, but it also started to dry out. Creams and lotions came into play, but I was less concerned about wearing makeup. Minimal was the name of the game - I went to the bus stop sans-makeup and was amazed by the one or two other moms whose hair and makeup was flawless at 7 a.m. on a weekday. How early did they have to get up to look that good? I was busy feeding and managing two kids, so my hair and face would have to wait.

In my forties it was much the same with hair tied neatly back, some foundation, blush, mascara and lip gloss. Nothing fancy, just make myself presentable to the working world. Then my fifties landed and it was full on - anti-aging creams, professional peels, and trying to learn every makeup trick in the book. Thus, my YouTube journey began, watching makeup videos and looking for every expert I could find.

Now, here I am in my sixties and I feel like I've made it to a place where I'm finally comfortable in my skin. I know how to conceal, buff, and set with just the right amount of blush, lash, and brow. I can create a nice lip and my hair style has been perfected - I never thought it would take me this long, but here I am.

And now, you want me to trash all that I've learned and put this bare face out there as a badge of honor, so you can be okay with how I look?

Sorry sister, it ain't happening.

Not yet, anyway.

I remember when I was a little girl. I always felt better when my mom wore makeup - when she looked beautiful with a glow to her skin and a shine to her lips. She didn't wear makeup all the time, but when she did I felt happy, because she seemed to feel happier, more confident and I felt it, too.

I've never forgotten it. I still see her in my mind and I want that feeling for me, my daughter, and all the women in my life.

If you feel comfortable without makeup - bravo! I'm thrilled for you. If you feel better with makeup, then equally bravo!

Be You!

I love learning how to use makeup to enhance my look. It's for me more than anyone else. My husband likes a fresh face better than one with a lot of makeup, but I'm sure he appreciates the care I take in my appearance. It's what he was attracted to, before he got to know me.

Our spouses love us, even though they see us at our worst. In the morning or when we're sick, but the world doesn't know and love us, and it's the impression we make that causes them to stand up and take notice.

Think about Talia Shire's character in Rocky. She was hidden away by her brother, made to be invisible because he wanted her to take care of him. He didn't want anyone to take her away. But then Rocky came along and gave her the encouragement she needed to bloom. Suddenly, she was confident and beautiful.

Let every woman be her best self. If you want to go out in a ball gown with a bare face - good for you. I'm happy for you, but don't expect everyone to start thinking that's the way to go. To me, you're half dressed.

Show up at the bus stop in your sweats, your hair in a messy bun, and your face bare? Yup, I'm on board. Get up at 4:30 a.m. to straighten your hair and be perfectly made up when you go to the bus stop with your kids? Okay, kudos to you. You do you!

I myself see women everyday that I'd like to give a make-over. Women my age with long gray hair, no makeup, and a frumpy dress. When I'm in a meeting at work, and I see her, I think of all the ways I could lift her spirits - give her a cute modern hair cut, put on some foundation, concealer, and blush. Curl her lashes and shine up her lips...and then someone calls on me and I'm totally lost (just kidding! I'm not that bad.) But, seriously, don't believe those nay-sayers who say makeup is the devil's work.

If that woman from my meeting is confident with the look, then wonderful, but let's not judge each other, if someone else (me) isn't comfortable without makeup.

Love what you see out there - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Don't use your judgements to tear down other women.

Now, I'm not talking to anyone in particular, when I say you.

You is all of us - we've all been there - judging someone, either on a social media platform, amongst our close friends, or simply in our own mind, thinking judgmental thoughts.

Valerie, you go girl - use the filters whenever you want!

Pamela, flaunt it whenever and however you want!

Me, I'm still learning and I am so grateful for the women who put their bare face out on a video and then carefully create a flawless look, teaching and inspiring the rest of us who are craving the information - who've been trying to look good all of our adult lives. Who still see the flaws every time we look in the mirror.

With their help we feel better. Just like when I was a little girl and saw my mother look pretty when she put on makeup.

It makes me happy.

I want happy.

Don't listen to negative women. Deep down they want to look pretty, too.

What do you think? I'd love it if you'd leave me a comment and let me know!

All my best,

Lisa