Ease up on Yourself
I'm someone who struggles with perfectionism - straightening wall hangings if they're just a little off, feeling resentment build if my husband fixes himself a sandwich and leaves a mayo smeared knife and pickle juice on the cutting board. I feel my hackles rise when I step on a wet spot on the carpet left by my otherwise perfect Pomeranian. It takes all I have not to blow up in the moment.
I was waiting in line at the Drive-thru yesterday on my way into the office. I was making great time and allowed myself the treat of pulling off the highway for a smoothie and a bagel. Well, don't you know they were not running smoothly that morning and it took 15-minutes to get through the line. I sat patiently at first, but as the minutes ticked by my morning went from having time to stop, to running late and I found myself getting anxious. When I heard, "Come on!" slip out of my mouth, I knew I'd let the moment get away from me, so I had a mental conversation with my ego. It went something like this:
What are you getting so upset about? There is plenty of time to get to work. All is well and soon you'll be moving. Be the person who still has a smile for the worker who knows people have been waiting in line for awhile. Perhaps there is a new person being trained that has caused a backup. Don't add to their stress, relieve some of it.
I remembered to Trust God and Do Good
In times of stress, Trust God. Know that He has everything under control. He could have given me the idea to pull off the highway and be detained for these 15-minutes to keep me away from a disastrous situation that could have entered my path had I not gotten off the road.
Why get upset? In the situation where someone leaves something for you to clean up, getting upset at them will not wake them up to the fact that they are messy, it will only remind them of the parental criticism they heard as a child and make them want to defend against it. Talk about ruining the day. It's not the first time you'll clean up the counter and it won't be last, so release it and do good.
What's the Point?
In the end, life isn't about all the messes that others leave for us to clean, but how we handled the situation. Did we handle it with love or with anger? There have been times in our own lives, if we're being honest with ourselves, where we've needed someone to show mercy, kindness, and love. When they did, we were so relieved and it made a world of difference in our lives. That's all God asks of us - to be kind and act with love. Do Good.
Trust God wherever you are in your life and regardless of what is happening - do good. If you don't know what the situation calls for, mentally ask, "What should I do?" God will answer you - your job is to follow the instruction.
Simple - yes. Easy - no.
He may tell you to forgive a heinous act or call the person you have decided to cut out of your life. If you get that instruction, do it. Trust God. And, ease up on yourself. Relax your shoulders, release the tension in your lower body. Take a breath and let go. It's all good.
If those crumbs sit on the counter until the next day and your spouse still hasn't wiped it down, take a deep breath and tell yourself, "It's no big deal." Wipe it down and know you are doing good. That feeling will allow you to move on and away from the resentment you feel because you are the only one who sees what needs to be done.
Thank God for YOU!
God loves you.
I love you.
Now, YOU love you!
All my best,